I am home sick today. Were I not pregnant, today would be a tough-it-out day for sure, but I’m a little concerned by the fact that this bug seems to be lodged lower in my throat than a usual head cold. (Plus, I sound like a 40-year smoker trying to be quiet in church.) After finally admitting to myself that yes, I probably do have a somewhat compromised immune system, and no, I don’t want an upper respiratory tract infection or pneumonia, I decided to stay home and attack this thing with both barrels.

And now, a piece I call Why I’ll Be Surviving the Zombiepocalypse; or, Take That, Virus:

1. Cheerios with milk.
2. Orange juice.
3. Pineapple juice.
4. Yogurt.
5. Vitamin C, Echinacea with Vitamin C, prenatal multivitamin, prenatal DHA
6. Gatorade.
7. Banana.
8. BACON!!!

Breakfast of champions, friends.

Now, if only I could find my copy of Glory Road, today’s bug-in preparations would be complete.

Ended up away from home longer than I anticipated today, so I apologize for this coming in so late - but here’s a hearty thank you to all who served and still serve today. You are appreciated.

My sister has been a resident of the great state of Idaho (Esto Perpetua!) for 22 days. She has been of-age for five days. She’s had her own place of residence for three days, and her Idaho driver license for about two hours.

She just paid for her first lower receiver, which will arrive on Friday.

Huzzah!

Thing the First: Yes, I’M ALIVE! I made it back to Free America safe and sound, and I apologize for the long delay before giving y’all proof of life.

Thing the Second: Part of the reason I’ve taken so damn long to update is because I returned from the People’s Republic of California with another new Idahoan in tow… and she’s been camped out on my couch. My younger sister finally had enough of The Bad Place and packed up her guns and dog and relocated to our neck of the woods. That’s the good news.

The bad news, for all you single guys anyway, is it took approximately .00002 seconds for one of our friends to bogart her affections. But I can start a waiting list or something in case that doesn’t work out. Be forewarned, she has fairly strict BYO-ammo requirements.

Thing the Third: Today marks the birthday of both my sister and everyone’s favorite Irish PGB reader, the little bastard known ’round here as Fucker. He may or may not have had to remind me for the, uh, sixth or seventh year running that the 29th of October is indeed his birthday (well, was if we’re going by his timezone) and for that I am captain of the failboat YET AGAIN.

But - no matter - here’s a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you both!

Thing the Fourth: I said three, but I lied. We have officially reached the wailing/gnashing of teeth/rending of clothing point about next Tuesday. I’m genuinely scared. I mean - the idea of a McCain presidency gives me the heebies. The idea of an Obama presidency with a Democrat-controlled congress has me absolutely terrfied. I feel my very way of life is under siege, and I feel powerless to stop it. I’m depressed.

I’ll post more tomorrow about the latest Obama redistribution of wealth statements and gun things and everything else that has me wishing I were in drinking condition at this point… Though I strongly suspect I’m just 99.9% preaching to the choir, especially since I think we’re screwed either way, just less screwed less quickly with McCain.

Regardless of who wins next Tuesday, America loses. The Republic is in distress.

Guess where I’m going tomorrow-through-Sunday?

Here are some hints:
- It’s 1,000 miles from my dear, sweet north Idaho home
- It’s one of the very last places I want to be in the midst of economic turmoil… and frankly not somewhere I like to be on a good day
- I can’t take my guns

If you guessed CALIFORNIA, you are indeed correct! And, to make the whole situation even more objectionable, Mike isn’t going along. Oh, and I have to fly there.

And Sunday is Mike’s birthday, so I’ll miss most of that.

And deer season starts on Friday, so I’m missing opening weekend.

Fortunately, I’m flying Southwest and they haven’t tacked on any checked-bag fees… so I intend to pack along a bug-out bag for good measure. If things get hairy, I swear I will commandeer a vehicle and head home most ricky-tick.

Everyone cross your fingers there’s no fan-shit contact before next Monday, eh?

Mike and I woke up bright and early this morning to make progress on two fronts: He, to take the LSAT, and I, to complete my Idaho hunter education field day.

The field day wasn’t too horrible - though ‘field day’ is kind of a lie. It’s actually about 5% shooting, 5% safe handling of dummy rifles (like how to best carry when on line with hunting partners), and 90% classroom stuff that is totally redundant with what was already covered in the bookwork portion of the course. I was afraid I was going to be the only person in the room over the age of 12, but since it was a field day for folks who had taken the bookwork portion online, it actually turned out to be all adults.

We shot break-action pellet rifles - 25 yards, 20 rounds per person, five rounds in each of the four major shooting positions. Fortunately, I’m not so pregnant that prone was impossible - though it was a little uncomfortable. After my sitting shots, the instructor walked downrange to squint at two of the targets - mine and the guy next to me. I was convinced I’d managed to embarass myself that horribly. But nope! He walked back behind the line and I heard him tell one of the other instructors “I have a hard time seeing them when they’re all in the black.”

*smirk*

I ended up ‘winning’ an Idaho hunter education canvas bag thingy for being a top shot. I’m thoroughly stoked to use said canvas bag thingy as a reusable grocery bag at the hippie food co-op.

Anyway, I passed everything and am now an officially educated Idaho hunter, complete with a super-awesome ‘Idaho Hunter Education Graduate’ blaze-orange trucker cap. Since I needed to pick up some .22LR while in Lewiston, I went ahead and got my license and whitetail tag at the same time.

It is so on, Bambi.

—

As for Mike’s LSAT - he’s scored between 154 and 167 on practice tests over the last couple of months (I think his average has been ~160) so he was relatively confident going into it. He also swore up and down there was no way the logic games - his worst section - could be the extra/experimental section on the test. I told him not to be so sure. GUESS WHAT THE EXTRA SECTION WAS! Anyway, he said he feels like he probably scored somewhere in the range he’d seen on the practice tests, but he really didn’t have a feeling about how high or low.

He said a chick behind him at the test had a t-shirt on with a giant Obama face on it, which kind of freaked him out. I asked, “Like one of those Che Guevara looking ones, the Latin American communist propaganda kind?”

“Yep,” he said. “I wanted to thank her for the extra motivation, but didn’t really feel like getting into it in the middle of the LSAT.”

—

Last but not least, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to Idaho’s newest residents: The wonderful, freedom-loving Ellie and Barry (and their pups, Gus and Raisin). They just relocated from southern California to Boise; Ellie has accepted a position at Boise State. (I’m going to let that part slide.) Neener-neener, California - we’re taking all the good ones! Y’all are so screwed.

Welcome to free America, friends!

I’m on hold with CapitalOne. I’m calling to close a savings account, as recent economic events have prompted me to decide I’d rather have my money in a local bank (or, y’know, under the mattress).

When I pushed the button to be transferred to a representative, I got an automated message: “Thank you for your patience. We’re currently experiencing high call volume…”

Yeah, I BET!

Spam the first: I was just cleaning out my Askimet spam catcher, and I had a (presumably) spam comment written in Hebrew. Neat.

Spam the second: This is actually what I intended to post about in the first place. With the economy sucking, a kid on the way, those pesky bills expecting to get paid every month, and Mike eyeballing law school in a year, I’m more interested than ever in being a cheap bastard. Err, I mean living frugally.

We’re presently cracking down on our eating habits, and that’s where you come in. I want y’all to spam me with tips, tricks, recipes, shopping lists, whatever that deal with eating cheap without eating crap.

Here are a few parameters to keep in mind:
1) We live in north Idaho, so local fresh foods can be somewhat limited, especially in winter.
2) We avoid high fructose corn syrup.
3) We prefer whole grain foods.
4) We do not have any food allergies.
5) We eat organic food when we can. The areas we’re most adamant about this are dairy, eggs and meat, to avoid growth hormones and antibiotics.
6) We will be hunting again this year and, Artemis willing, intend to have venison make up a good chunk of our meat supply.
7) We have an electric stove/oven, a crock pot, a cast iron dutch oven, a blender, a bread maker, a dehydrator, and a nice KitchenAid mixer. We do not have a microwave.
8) I do the lion’s share of the cooking, and I work 10-6 most days. I prefer to get something started before I leave, or otherwise avoid spending two hours cooking when I get home.
9) We don’t like eating things with ingredients we can’t pronounce. The closer it is to something that you’d find in nature, the more comfortable we are with it.
10) We’re interested in getting in gear with food storage/disaster preparation, so ingredients and recipes that work well into a rotation of staples and canned goods get bonus points.

Alright, flying monkies, do your thing! And hey… if you give me some good ideas, we’ll have you over for dinner next time you’re in town. :)

Here. Page 2, three paragraphs, near the bottom. Here’s the gist, with my full name redacted (I’m trying to keep my Googleability somewhat controlled, so sue me):

Laurel [me], who was president of the Univerity (sic) of Idaho College Republicans in 2005, said the choice could make a difference in her vote.

[me] said she doesn’t support McCain and was considering voting for Libertarian Bob Barr. She said she has followed Palin’s work the last few months since finding out that she is an Idaho alumna and is impressed with her record of reform.

“This is the first time I have seen a running mate change my interest,” [me] said. “I need to determine how much of a role she’ll take in the presidency and whether or not it will make up for the shortcomings of John McCain.”

Incidentally, that is a completely accurate depiction of what I said, for once. I think they even nailed the quote word-for-word.

Me, perusing Craigslist: Do you want a He-Man Masters of the Universe Castle Grayskull Playset? 
Mike: I had one of those when I was a kid. And my cat, Tom? He got stuck in it.
Me: Did it have batteries?
Mike: I don’t remember.
Me: Because this one has… *reads ad* “over 20 lights and sounds as well as tons of battle features, Castle Grayskull is packed with fun play possibilities! Includes a crushing front drawbridge, trap door that leads to the Castle dungeon, a weapons door that reveals the sought-after Power Sword and a dual-firing cannon.”
Mike: I remember the trap door, because that’s what Tom got his foot stuck in. Worked perfectly.
Me: …Mike, by “Tom got his foot stuck in the trap door” do you mean “I put Tom’s foot in the trap door and it got stuck?”
Mike, very earnestly: NO! Tom climbed into Castle Greyskull when it was folded up!

Something about the way he referred to it as Castle Greyskull - not “the Castle Greyskull,” or “the Castle Greyskull playset,” or “the toy” - cracked my ass up.