I kinda want to make the motorboating frame my avatar on everything for the rest of the internet.

Warning: Language and irreverence ahead. (Seriously, Grandma, I live with a Marine!)

—————–

GURA: Scalia! An argument for incorporating under privileges and immunities, YOU CAN HAS! 
SCALIA: WTF are you talking about? We can incorporate it under due process. I hate due process and I even think that. 
GURA: Uhhh
SCALIA: Are you trying to get a job at a law school? 
GURA: Oh shit
SCALIA: SERIOUSLY STFU IF WE USE PRIVILEGES AND IMMUNITIES THESE FUCKOS WILL LEGITIMIZE EVERYTHING STFU STFU STFU 
GURA: But you hate due process
SCALIA: I LIKE IT NOW
GURA: Uhhh
GINSBURG: I’m a bitch!
SCALIA: LULZ 
STEVENS: I’m a bitch! 
CLEMENT: This should obviously be incorporated under due process.
ALITO: Werd 
BREYER: *motorboats Sotomayor*
FELDMAN: Here’s my first argument.
SCALIA: That argument sucks.
FELDMAN: Ordered liberty?
SCALIA: We haven’t used that since 1937.
FELDMAN: Have too.
SCALIA: When? 
FELDMAN: Uh, here’s my second argument.
SCALIA: You just argued against your first argument.
FELDMAN: Did not.
SCALIA: Did so. 
FELDMAN: DID NOT!
SCALIA: …
FELDMAN: *cries*
SCALIA: …
ROBERTS: You just argued the losing Heller argument.
FELDMAN: *pees pants*
BREYER: Let’s make a chart. 
ROBERTS: Madison made a chart!
BREYER: STFU
THOMAS: *reads the Bible* 
SCALIA: The 2A puts the fun in fundamental. 
FELDMAN: Let me tell you what Heller says.
SCALIA: I wrote Heller, fucknuts. 
KENNEDY: So if we’re going to just incorporate the militia purpose of Heller, what case do we use for precedent? 
FELDMAN: No fucking idea. 
SCALIA: Why are you talking about the right to self-defense? That’s not in the Constitution. 
FELDMAN: See above. Besides, nobody would really restrict the right to keep and bear arms so that it affected self-defense. 
SCALIA: Have you even read Heller? 
FELDMAN: I don’t think so. 
KENNEDY: Gura, let’s use your last three minutes to talk about everything but the 2A.
ROBERTS: I’m going to give you the chance to take back that privileges and immunities thing. 
GURA: No, we think it’s a good idea!
ROBERTS: *sigh*

—————–

P.S. I want to give a shout-out to Gura, who I didn’t really give proper credit in the summary. I do think he did a good job, I just think he was a little taken aback by Scalia coming out swinging on privileges/immunities – as was I.

To be perfectly honest, I lost a little bit of Scalia love today. I can’t get behind the idea that, if something’s bad, just because it’s been bad for 140 years we should perpetuate it.

EDIT: Um, er, yeah… one of the hits I got on this is from a forum poster who apparently knows Justice Scalia and promised to forward it. 0_0 The good news is they think he’ll get a kick out of it. I feel obligated to point out, just in case, that I’m married to a 1L who happens to be a HUGE Scalia fan and would gladly take a shoe-shining or trash-emptying internship.

Just in case.

EDIT: mcouey over on Arfcom took this and ran with it… Here’s the result, which had me rolling:

Now, it looks like I won’t be traveling anywhere by air, ever.

I have put up with a lot of the post-9/11 security theater. I’ve thrown away my lipgloss, been wanded, taken off my shoes, put all my liquids and gels into an appropriate little baggie. I have allowed them to pick away at my privacy and dignity, bit by bit, with full knowledge it’s all a meaningless circus meant to give the sheep the illusion of security.

No more.

I’m a citizen of the United States and the state of Idaho, and I will not be subjected to this bullshit. Period.

We don’t have TV. I have my homepage set to news.google.com, so I glance at that a few times per internet session (like every time I open a new tab). I also hit up SaysUncle for the high (and low) points of the politics I care most about.

I have a ton of other worthy blogs in my reader, but if I’m taking a bare-bones look at where to get the news, those are my top two choices.

Where do you get your news?

Palin: Tea Partiers “Have to Pick a Party” – CBS News

“Now the smart thing will be for independents who are such a part of this Tea Party movement to, I guess, kind of start picking a party,” Palin said. “Which party reflects how that smaller, smarter government steps to be taken? Which party will best fit you? And then because the Tea Party movement is not a party, and we have a two-party system, they’re going to have to pick a party and run one or the other: ‘R’ or ‘D’.”

I wanted so badly to like her, for her to be what I wanted her to be, and I think that makes her even more intolerable to me at this point.

That about sums it up.

The highlight of the five minutes I saw was Obama scolding the SCOTUS – to their faces – for the campaign finance ruling. He said, “With all due respect to separation of powers… I urge Congress to pass legislation to correct this.”

*blink*

At that point, when I realized Scalia was not going to fulfill my fantasy and hop up there and punch P.BO in the face, I quit watching.

Then, The Inconvenience came in and said I better get on Gunbroker and buy the 1911 I’ve been eyeballing (Springfield 1911 Lightweight Champion Operator), because Obama said he wants to sign a small arms treaty. I said, “Seriously?” and he said “Yes, seriously!” and within about 2 seconds I was logging in… only to have him say “Psych!”

Not funny.

Now I think I’m going to go ahead and buy it as his punishment. Speaking of which, he just added a 1945 Remington-Rand 1911 (former property of the US Army) to the stable. Can you tell we’ve recently downed a copious amount of the JMB Kool-Aid?

Oh, the other thing I caught in the few minutes of SOTU I watched was Obama blaming our spending problems on George W. Bush. I don’t have the exact quote, but the gist of it was “Yeah, well, HE WAS WORSE!”

I saw on FoxNews that he’d said it was time to give Americans the government they deserve. Funny, I feel like we have it.

I mean – it started off good, and as I kept reading, it got “Holy shit, this is really good, who wrote this!?” kinda good.

He talked about just war, about resilience, about being the good guys, about cultural relativity… There’s also a shoutout to global warming climate change, but I’ll let it slide. Just this once.

Did I mention it’s really frickin’ good?

Yet the world must remember that it was not simply international institutions — not just treaties and declarations — that brought stability to a post-World War II world. Whatever mistakes we have made, the plain fact is this: The United States of America has helped underwrite global security for more than six decades with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms. The service and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform has promoted peace and prosperity from Germany to Korea, and enabled democracy to take hold in places like the Balkans. We have borne this burden not because we seek to impose our will. We have done so out of enlightened self-interest — because we seek a better future for our children and grandchildren, and we believe that their lives will be better if other peoples’ children and grandchildren can live in freedom and prosperity.

…

The leaders and soldiers of NATO countries — and other friends and allies — demonstrate this truth through the capacity and courage they have shown in Afghanistan. But in many countries, there is a disconnect between the efforts of those who serve and the ambivalence of the broader public. I understand why war is not popular. But I also know this: The belief that peace is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it. Peace requires responsibility. Peace entails sacrifice.
…

Where force is necessary, we have a moral and strategic interest in binding ourselves to certain rules of conduct. And even as we confront a vicious adversary that abides by no rules, I believe that the United States of America must remain a standard bearer in the conduct of war. That is what makes us different from those whom we fight. That is a source of our strength. That is why I prohibited torture. That is why I ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed. And that is why I have reaffirmed America’s commitment to abide by the Geneva Conventions. We lose ourselves when we compromise the very ideals that we fight to defend. And we honor those ideals by upholding them not just when it is easy, but when it is hard.

…

So even as we respect the unique culture and traditions of different countries, America will always be a voice for those aspirations that are universal. We will bear witness to the quiet dignity of reformers like Aung San Suu Kyi; to the bravery of Zimbabweans who cast their ballots in the face of beatings; to the hundreds of thousands who have marched silently through the streets of Iran. It is telling that the leaders of these governments fear the aspirations of their own people more than the power of any other nation. And it is the responsibility of all free people and free nations to make clear to these movements that hope and history are on their side.

I can’t speak to the delivery, as I only read the transcript, but I liked it so much I think I’ll watch it tomorrow. Go read/watch for yourself.

Well done, Sir.

H/T Ernunnos

http://reason.com/blog/2009/11/17/new-trial-for-cory-maye

Many, MANY props to Radley Balko for his work on this, and a hat-tip to the lovely Kit Connor for the tip via Twitter.

“No, I think he really did!” she said.

“Yeeeah right, is it on the Onion or what?”

“No, for real! It’s… hold on… yeah, it’s all over Google.”

Obama, who has publicly committed to improving America’s image abroad, was named recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize for, the Nobel committee said, his initiatives to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism.¹

For your edification, here’s a brief guide to ways you, too can win a Nobel Peace prize:
1. Hate Jews.
2. Hate Jews and be a terrorist. (66% prize penalty for the terrorist part, apparently.)
3. Talk about Manbearpig. Not to stir the global warming climate change pot again, but what, exactly, does that have to do with peace? It’s lulzy that doesn’t fall under… you know… science.
4. Follow Ronald Reagan’s instructions.

and last but not least…

5. Think happy thoughts!

I’m winning it next year, guys. I can feel it.

Oh, and also news:

“From our standpoint, you know, we think that this gives us a sense of momentum … when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes,” State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley told reporters on Friday.²

Said with full self-awareness: From the consistent level of snark, I’m under the impression Barack Obama has indeed found most of his spokespeople on the internet.

Cool. Maybe I’ll get hired for that, too.

^1,2 http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/10/09/state-department-lauds-obamas-nobel-peace-prize-making-jab-bush/

Godspeed, Annie. I know few people who could leave such a void – you will be missed.

I think I am going to take a little time away from PGB; I don’t have the energy or mindset for it right now. I’ll be back.

Please keep her loved ones in your thoughts and prayers.

To whoever did this: You will be found, you will be brought to justice, and your ass better hope it’s at the hands of law enforcement.