I went to the Starbucks in our Safeway store to get my free coffee after I voted. While I was standing in line, I looked over at the kiosk that has all the Safeway coupon fliers on it. There was a sign on the side correcting a mistake in the ads. It said, in effect:

The club card price of Lucerne milk was incorrectly advertised this week at $1.99. While that price is available in Washington, state law in Idaho prohibits us from selling it for $1.99 since it’s below Safeway’s cost. Thus, Idaho club card price is actually $2.19. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Mmmm. I love a little price control with my coffee, don’t you? Well, get used to it.

DOOM.

Okay, I know I said I was signing off the election stuff, but this doesn’t really count. Check out what showed up in the UK’s Daily Mail:

PETER HITCHENS: The Zombie and the Third-World Marxist … How the American West views the presidential race

They tell me that about one person in 50 on the streets of Moscow, Idaho, is legally carrying a concealed pistol. A lot more have them in their cars. I rather approve of this, though I don’t think I’ll join in.

Many of those packing heat are women combining a hard, practical feminism with a conservative view of the right to bear arms.

The important thing is that you don’t know who is armed and who isn’t, and nor do potential rapists and muggers. I am sure this arrangement improves everyone’s manners no end.

It is certainly a very polite place and shoot-outs here are a good deal rarer than they are in gun-controlled London or Manchester.

…

MORE

It’s really a fantastic article, but I’m probably biased because I feel like I’m in on all the inside jokes.

For the record, picture #1 is inside Tri-State, where we don’t shop because they are anti-open-carry.

But this?

That’s Sure Shot, our go-to gun shop, and we flippin’ LOVE that sign. I just about died when I saw that picture in the article.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. I love our weird little town.

We’re three days from doomsday. Even if Obama loses, we still get The Lesser Evil, and that makes me sad.

At this point, I feel like somebody who votes for Obama is very deliberately attacking my way of life.

Time and again I’ve heard leftists say “Nobody is trying to take your guns.” And maybe this year, for a lot of Americans, that’s true. But it’s not true for me. I own the exact guns they want to take. And even if they don’t come knocking on my door for them this year, they’ll certainly do their best to ban spare parts, and magazines, and ammunition. So yes, liberals, you are trying to take my guns - first by destroying the industry that allows them to exist, then by destroying my ability to maintain them, and eventually you’ll get around to kicking down my door for the hunks of metal themselves.

Obama has said a lot of mealy-mouthed things lately about the 2nd Amendment but his record and years upon years of past statements indicate he is, without a doubt, my enemy. And even if he isn’t actively pushing for anti-gun legislation, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me the man would veto an assault weapons ban.

And you cannot look me in the eye and tell me the man has any interest in appointing Supreme Court justices who are good judges. That’s the qualification John McCain cited in the last debate - good judges, not idealogues. No, Obama thinks the court should be engaging in redistributive politics and the Warren Court didn’t go far enough.

If Obama is allowed to nominate the next Supreme Court justices - with Democrat majorities in Congress backing him up - it’s game over. That court is the only thing standing in the way of the complete destruction of the Constitution.

And what, you really think the government will roll back the clock on wiretapping, that it’s all going to be hunky-dory as long as the Republicans aren’t in charge anymore? No - as I’ve said all along, the thing that scares me most about what Bush has been up to isn’t what is happening with Bush at the helm… It’s what will happen with that precedent and somebody like Obama at the helm. Now, instead of wiretapping to advance the War on Terrah, we’ll get Obama’s goon squads wiretapping you and me because I dared to speak out here. Because I have black rifles. Because I’ll be protesting wealth redistribution.

I can’t understand how anyone can listen to that man and hear the American dream. He’s talking about actively destroying the American dream, punishing those who are most successful and rewarding those who do least. He wants to destroy the incentive to achieve, to what end? So everyone feels good about themselves? So we can all starve together, instead of having any haves and have-nots?

So yes, while I fear a McCain presidency will perpetuate ass-backwards foreign policies and continue to expand government in ways a Republican administration never should, I at least don’t feel like he’s gunning for his fellow Americans.

Now, all that said: I don’t really think appropriate voter behavior is a black-and-white issue. Here in Idaho, McCain is projected to win by about 30%. That gives us the luxury of making a statement without directly contributing to an Obama win - so I’ll most likely be writing in Ron Paul. If I were in a swing state, I’d probably vote for McCain. While the lesser of two evils is still an evil, in this case the potential to prevent Obama nominees on the SCOTUS is worth damn near any cost.

I think the worst part of this, for me, is feeling so powerless. My way of life will be under seige, and I have but one vote in a state with four electoral votes. I don’t want his healthcare. I don’t want his welfare. I don’t want his tax plan. I certainly don’t want to be protected from my own firearms. I just want to be left alone, to own my guns, to advance my socioeconomic status as I may, to raise and educate my children without government oversight, to speak freely on my silly little blog, and to get where it’s possible for me to get without either government handicap or handout.

Thing the First: Yes, I’M ALIVE! I made it back to Free America safe and sound, and I apologize for the long delay before giving y’all proof of life.

Thing the Second: Part of the reason I’ve taken so damn long to update is because I returned from the People’s Republic of California with another new Idahoan in tow… and she’s been camped out on my couch. My younger sister finally had enough of The Bad Place and packed up her guns and dog and relocated to our neck of the woods. That’s the good news.

The bad news, for all you single guys anyway, is it took approximately .00002 seconds for one of our friends to bogart her affections. But I can start a waiting list or something in case that doesn’t work out. Be forewarned, she has fairly strict BYO-ammo requirements.

Thing the Third: Today marks the birthday of both my sister and everyone’s favorite Irish PGB reader, the little bastard known ’round here as Fucker. He may or may not have had to remind me for the, uh, sixth or seventh year running that the 29th of October is indeed his birthday (well, was if we’re going by his timezone) and for that I am captain of the failboat YET AGAIN.

But - no matter - here’s a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you both!

Thing the Fourth: I said three, but I lied. We have officially reached the wailing/gnashing of teeth/rending of clothing point about next Tuesday. I’m genuinely scared. I mean - the idea of a McCain presidency gives me the heebies. The idea of an Obama presidency with a Democrat-controlled congress has me absolutely terrfied. I feel my very way of life is under siege, and I feel powerless to stop it. I’m depressed.

I’ll post more tomorrow about the latest Obama redistribution of wealth statements and gun things and everything else that has me wishing I were in drinking condition at this point… Though I strongly suspect I’m just 99.9% preaching to the choir, especially since I think we’re screwed either way, just less screwed less quickly with McCain.

Regardless of who wins next Tuesday, America loses. The Republic is in distress.

Mike and I woke up bright and early this morning to make progress on two fronts: He, to take the LSAT, and I, to complete my Idaho hunter education field day.

The field day wasn’t too horrible - though ‘field day’ is kind of a lie. It’s actually about 5% shooting, 5% safe handling of dummy rifles (like how to best carry when on line with hunting partners), and 90% classroom stuff that is totally redundant with what was already covered in the bookwork portion of the course. I was afraid I was going to be the only person in the room over the age of 12, but since it was a field day for folks who had taken the bookwork portion online, it actually turned out to be all adults.

We shot break-action pellet rifles - 25 yards, 20 rounds per person, five rounds in each of the four major shooting positions. Fortunately, I’m not so pregnant that prone was impossible - though it was a little uncomfortable. After my sitting shots, the instructor walked downrange to squint at two of the targets - mine and the guy next to me. I was convinced I’d managed to embarass myself that horribly. But nope! He walked back behind the line and I heard him tell one of the other instructors “I have a hard time seeing them when they’re all in the black.”

*smirk*

I ended up ‘winning’ an Idaho hunter education canvas bag thingy for being a top shot. I’m thoroughly stoked to use said canvas bag thingy as a reusable grocery bag at the hippie food co-op.

Anyway, I passed everything and am now an officially educated Idaho hunter, complete with a super-awesome ‘Idaho Hunter Education Graduate’ blaze-orange trucker cap. Since I needed to pick up some .22LR while in Lewiston, I went ahead and got my license and whitetail tag at the same time.

It is so on, Bambi.

—

As for Mike’s LSAT - he’s scored between 154 and 167 on practice tests over the last couple of months (I think his average has been ~160) so he was relatively confident going into it. He also swore up and down there was no way the logic games - his worst section - could be the extra/experimental section on the test. I told him not to be so sure. GUESS WHAT THE EXTRA SECTION WAS! Anyway, he said he feels like he probably scored somewhere in the range he’d seen on the practice tests, but he really didn’t have a feeling about how high or low.

He said a chick behind him at the test had a t-shirt on with a giant Obama face on it, which kind of freaked him out. I asked, “Like one of those Che Guevara looking ones, the Latin American communist propaganda kind?”

“Yep,” he said. “I wanted to thank her for the extra motivation, but didn’t really feel like getting into it in the middle of the LSAT.”

—

Last but not least, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to Idaho’s newest residents: The wonderful, freedom-loving Ellie and Barry (and their pups, Gus and Raisin). They just relocated from southern California to Boise; Ellie has accepted a position at Boise State. (I’m going to let that part slide.) Neener-neener, California - we’re taking all the good ones! Y’all are so screwed.

Welcome to free America, friends!

Here. Page 2, three paragraphs, near the bottom. Here’s the gist, with my full name redacted (I’m trying to keep my Googleability somewhat controlled, so sue me):

Laurel [me], who was president of the Univerity (sic) of Idaho College Republicans in 2005, said the choice could make a difference in her vote.

[me] said she doesn’t support McCain and was considering voting for Libertarian Bob Barr. She said she has followed Palin’s work the last few months since finding out that she is an Idaho alumna and is impressed with her record of reform.

“This is the first time I have seen a running mate change my interest,” [me] said. “I need to determine how much of a role she’ll take in the presidency and whether or not it will make up for the shortcomings of John McCain.”

Incidentally, that is a completely accurate depiction of what I said, for once. I think they even nailed the quote word-for-word.

Doesn’t this throw a monkey wrench in things.

A presidential candidate I can’t stand just picked, as his running mate, MY FAVORITE GOVERNOR.

Sarah Palin. She’s originally from Idaho, and a University of Idaho alumna. Yanking some Wikipedia quotes:

The two eloped shortly after Palin graduated college; when they learned they needed witnesses for the civil ceremony, they recruited two residents from the old-age home down the street.

Hey, that’s like what WE did for OUR civil ceremony! Except our witnesses were the slightly inebriated college-kid downstairs neighbors of our internet-ordained friend.

Details of Palin’s personal life have contributed to her political image. She hunts, eats moose hamburger, ice fishes, rides snowmobiles, and owns a float plane. Palin holds a lifetime membership with the National Rifle Association. She admits that she used marijuana when it was legal in Alaska, but says that she did not like it.

Of course, that’s all on top of the fact that she’s totally pro-state-independence and has been doing her damnedest to get Alaska off the federal teat. She has a reputation as a reformer and corruption-buster. I am really not afraid of Sarah Palin coming for my guns, though I’d love to go hunting with her.

She’s also smokin’ hot, in case you didn’t notice that yet:

So anyway, Sarah Palin rocks. This is great. Except for the part where I don’t like John McCain and am now supremely torn over what to do.

I was interviewed by the Spokesman-Review about an hour ago (they found me because I’m still listed as College Republicans president at the University of Idaho), and here’s the gist of what I told them: This is the first time I have ever felt like the choice of a running mate may well change my outlook on a campaign. I have a lot of issues with John McCain. I maintained up until oh, yesterday, that nothing he could do would get me to vote for him. But I now feel like I have to really evaluate the role of Vice President, and how much power Sarah Palin could potentially have in the Presidency. Do her strengths make up for John McCain’s shortcomings? I don’t know how I feel about that yet. I may not know until November.

When I told the SR reporter I didn’t like McCain, he said, “Oh, so were you planning on voting for Obama then?” I think I actually said, “Oh, HELL no!” He asked if I was thinking third party then, and I said possibly, maybe Libertarian candidate Bob Barr.

In retrospect, I really, really wish I would have told the whole truth, and said, “I’d planned to write in the ghost of Barry Goldwater.”

Oh, and on a final note: I don’t care how much frenzy there was over Obama’s speech last night, I think the way this running-mate game played out just did a lot to cook his goose. Captain “Change” picks an old-white-establishment-guy as his running mate. John McCain picks a young, spunky, up-and-coming female reformer for his Veep. Ouch, BHO!

Oh, do I have a gem from the Gem State for you guys.

A buddy of mine sent me the following screenshot:

Click here for the full-resolution image.

In case what we’re lulz-ing over isn’t obvious, here’s a close-up crop of the Boise State University ad from that page:

All hail our destinguished rivals to the south!

Hey, Boise State Junior College - y’all stick to playing football. We Vandals will take care of the thinky stuff.

On a totally random note, I keep meaning to tell y’all what happened to Mike at work the other day.

Poor Mike was driving down the road in his work truck. He was tired, and the afore-mentioned allergies were kicking his ass as usual, so he was driving rather lazily - left elbow out the window, head resting on his left hand, right hand on the wheel. 

All of a sudden, a deer runs directly into the side of his truck. 

He said the deer hit head-on right at the driver’s side door, and was then whipped around lengthwise against the side of the truck. (There’s totally a dent.) The best part of the whole thing? The deer’s neck CAME IN THE WINDOW and SMACKED MIKE UPSIDE THE HEAD. 

Mike hit the brakes to make sure he wasn’t going to have to deal with an injured deer, but he said he saw the dumb thing running off the road like it was no big deal. 

It’s a damn good thing it was a doe - I think he would have had a hard time explaining to the company insurance folks how he managed to get impaled by a deer antler while driving down the road. 

Now, if only we could come across this stupid, suicidal deer variety when we’re hunting them…

Happy 118th birthday to my adopted home, the great state of Idaho.

Idaho’s Lost River Range © Daniel Pouzzner

Let it be forever!