I received a fun contact yesterday from the folks at Playboy. Yes, that Playboy.

We recently sent the head of Playboy Security to a shooting range with our
Cyber Girl of the Year, Sharae Spears, to see who is a better shot. It’s kind
of a fun video. I wanted to pass on the link to the feature in case you have any
interest for your blog. Just let me know if you need anything else from us.

My immediate thought was: Oh, boy – this is going to be positively vapid.

But, I decided to give Ms. Spears a chance, and watched the video. She’s actually a decent shot, and I noticed this little blurb in the bio on the left side of the page:

In March I shot a gun for the first time, and it has since become one of my favorite hobbies.

I don’t really get into the chicks + guns thing when it’s just for the sake of hot pictures, but if Sharae actually shoots, now? Welcome to the fold, lady!

Anyway, if you’d like to watch a pretty gal go shooting, click here for the video. The video and page are safe for work, though if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the page there is some Playboy branding and a reference to seeing Sharae nude in the cyber club. Consider yourself warned.

By the way, the issue she mentions with her combat stance? I’ve totally experienced the same problem. I’m sure we could also compare notes on proning out. Le sigh.

Now that the Girl Child is crawling, I’m finding myself behind the curve on babyproofing. I’ve been making a list of things we should buy – outlet covers, cabinet locks – and doing a little reading on the internet to make sure I’m covering all my bases.

Some things, non-slip bath mats, make sense and are things I wouldn’t have thought of. Other stuff, like faucet covers so the Girl Child doesn’t bonk her head hard, seem excessive.

Anyway, I was skimming through a checklist on BabyCenter and came to a section labeled “Guns.” Their first piece of advice?

• Get rid of them — they’re not safe around children.

…………………..? Excuse me?

They go on to say,

• If you must have guns, store them, unloaded, in a locked and inaccessible spot.
• Store the ammunition in a separate locked and inaccessible spot.
• Use additional gun safety devices such as trigger locks.
• Start teaching your child that guns are weapons, not toys.

Oh gag me. I realize this website is designed for mass sheeple consumption, and all, but really? Suggestion number one is “Get rid of them” and suggestions two, three and four are “render them inoperable?”

Off to send an email…

While discussing the topic of bedding an M-14 stock:

The Inconvenience: “Remember that guy I met at the gun show?”
Me: “Which one?”
The Inconvenience: “The weird one.”
Me: “……………..”
The Inconvenience: “That didn’t really narrow it down, did it?”

Who needs the McDonald’s ball pit? Not our kid!

It’s PMAG Day! We’ve been waiting on these bad boys since a week after Election Day.

So. Worth. It.

Let the jealousy comence.

P.S. The box is about 8″ deep. Yeeeeeeeeeeees.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum supermarket.

About an hour ago (10pm), The Inconvenience and I decided to walk to the supermarket to get something to eat. (We’re overdue for grocery shopping, can you tell?) We loaded The Girl Child up into her stroller and set off on foot. The supermarket in question is a block away, and we cut through the county fairgrounds to get there. It’s a straight shot, but not very well-lit at night.

As we stepped onto the grounds, I noticed a male figure bopping around in an open grassy area. Again, not very well-lit, and he was wearing dark clothes. My situational awareness kicked up a notch, and I knew Mike had noticed him too. Neither of us said anything, just kept talking and walking. As we walked forward along the road, the guy cut in at an angle between a building and some Jersey barriers.

About this time, I noticed he was playing around with something. Then I noticed it was a big, shiny knife. Probably an 8″ blade. And he was stabbing a post with it.

What. the. hell.

Guess who wasn’t armed? Your dumbass humble blogger, that’s who. Fortunately, that’s why your dumbass humble blogger married The Inconvenience, and I saw my darling husband casually remove his gun-side hand from his pocket. Good, I thought. At least one of us is prepared.

Anyway, Creepshow falls in ahead of us, walking the same direction. He had an Army digi backpack. We followed him across the fairgrounds, and he went to the same grocery store. Once inside, I saw that he was wearing a dark Members Only style jacket, an ARMY shirt, some weird utility belt kinda thing, and jeans and tennis shoes. He looked young, shaved head. The Inconvenience theorized he was a dumb PFC who didn’t know any better. I don’t even think the kid was Army, I think he was a poser who likes surplus stores.

We ran into him in one of the aisles. I didn’t see the interaction, but apparently as he passed Mike he went quickly for his knife-side to make sure it was covered – presumably since he knew we’d seen it. Mike said the sudden movement just about earned the kid an elbow in the gut.

By the time we walked back home, the kid was with some other guy at the back of a UHaul-style truck, which they had a strap running out of and around a cement post at the fairgrounds. I have absolutely no friggin’ clue what they were up to, only that they had my Spidey Sense on high alert. I made sure we took the long way around the block rather than the direct line to our house, just in case.

Seriously, though. What. the. hell.

1) Carry, stupid.
2) I’m glad I had The Inconvenience go with us, because I almost set off with the kiddo alone. Granted, if it were a solo excursion I probably would have made sure I was a) armed and b) packing my cell phone. But still. I like having a big strong protector-type husband.
3) While I like having a big strong protector-type husband, I do not like the feeling of my safety being in the hands of anyone other than myself, even him. See point #1.
4) Creepshow might want to read up on his Idaho weapon laws.
5) I’m glad we were prepared to handle a situation, should one have arisen, but that we did not create a situation by being mentally unprepared and escalating what need not be. I’m also glad The Inconvenience and I were on the same page – and we never said a word about it until after the possible threat had passed. It’s good to go over these things in your own head, and even better to go over them with folks you’re frequently with.

Carry, stupid.

I wasn’t at Boomershoot today.

Wanna know the real tragedy?

I wasn’t at Boomershoot because I’m in California.

I couldn’t warn y’all about this travesty because my grandma reads this blog (hi, MeMe!) and the visit was a surprise. The Sister and The Girl Child are here too, but The Inconvenience stayed behind to hold down the fort. (It’s nigh impossible to drag him to the PRC anyway, which is understandable.)

To be totally fair, TGC isn’t quite big enough for kid-sized hearing pro, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with Milk Conveyance Methods That Are Not Boobs, so it probably wasn’t going to happen this year, anyway.

Next year, we’ll be there with bells on!

I filed most ricky-tick this year, so our interest-free loans to Uncle Sam and the state of Idaho tax refunds showed up already. For the most part they’ve been earmarked for un-fun grown-up things like paying off debt, but we did want to spend a little bit on something we’ve been wanting for our wee one.

She begrudgingly sat through one of my obnoxious photo shoots earlier (wow, I’m such a mom now) so I could show off her and her new acquisition.

Yep, today was her first trip to Cabela’s. (Believe it or not, it was mine too!) She slept through the whole thing, but scored her very first rifle (a Davey Crickett model 221, single-shot .22LR), a box of ammo, and a Cabela’s hat. The hat was courtesy of an associate who was totally stoked about her getting her first rifle, and told us to put the hat away for her with a little note saying it was from Sharon and telling about her first trip to the store.

She’s actually had the Carhartt for a little while – that was a gift from The Sister. It ought to fit her right around the same time the rifle does.

Which, as illustrated by this next picture, might be just a little while yet.

As an aside, I’d like to compliment the staff at the Cabela’s in Post Falls, Idaho. Everyone we interacted with was very friendly (that place is like Disneyland, except with lots of taxidermy instead of cartoon characters) and helpful. We even yacked with some of them about black rifles, and they didn’t run us out of the place or anything! *wink*

Well, comrades, it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting a little ‘08 tax credit. No baby yet, and I don’t anticipate him or her making an appearance in the next four hours. The child has very deliberately ignored my instructions to arrive before midnight so I can spend said tax credit on his/her first black rifle. Fail, baby. Fail.

With that, we’re off to hang out with some friends and ring in the new year in some low-octane fashion. I hope you all have a safe and happy evening of celebration, and may 2009 be a good year for all of us – it’s surely going to be an interesting one.

Keep your powder dry, friends, and happy new year!

Merry Christmas from Laurel, The Inconvenience, The Sister… and the newest one on the way – any day now!

We all hope your stockings were chock-full of ammo.

(I’d have posted earlier, but we had this picture printed up and framed for several family members, and I didn’t want them to see it here first.)