I just updated my oral argument post with illustrations, provided courtesy of Arfcommer mcouey.

I kinda want to make the motorboating frame my avatar on everything for the rest of the internet.

I wrote this earlier and was encouraged to post it here. Oh well, I’m not running for POTUS anyway.

Warning: Language and irreverence ahead. (Seriously, Grandma, I live with a Marine!)

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GURA: Scalia! An argument for incorporating under privileges and immunities, YOU CAN HAS! 
SCALIA: WTF are you talking about? We can incorporate it under due process. I hate due process and I even think that. 
GURA: Uhhh
SCALIA: Are you trying to get a job at a law school? 
GURA: Oh shit
SCALIA: SERIOUSLY STFU IF WE USE PRIVILEGES AND IMMUNITIES THESE FUCKOS WILL LEGITIMIZE EVERYTHING STFU STFU STFU 
GURA: But you hate due process
SCALIA: I LIKE IT NOW
GURA: Uhhh
GINSBURG: I’m a bitch!
SCALIA: LULZ 
STEVENS: I’m a bitch! 
CLEMENT: This should obviously be incorporated under due process.
ALITO: Werd 
BREYER: *motorboats Sotomayor*
FELDMAN: Here’s my first argument.
SCALIA: That argument sucks.
FELDMAN: Ordered liberty?
SCALIA: We haven’t used that since 1937.
FELDMAN: Have too.
SCALIA: When? 
FELDMAN: Uh, here’s my second argument.
SCALIA: You just argued against your first argument.
FELDMAN: Did not.
SCALIA: Did so. 
FELDMAN: DID NOT!
SCALIA: …
FELDMAN: *cries*
SCALIA: …
ROBERTS: You just argued the losing Heller argument.
FELDMAN: *pees pants*
BREYER: Let’s make a chart. 
ROBERTS: Madison made a chart!
BREYER: STFU
THOMAS: *reads the Bible* 
SCALIA: The 2A puts the fun in fundamental. 
FELDMAN: Let me tell you what Heller says.
SCALIA: I wrote Heller, fucknuts. 
KENNEDY: So if we’re going to just incorporate the militia purpose of Heller, what case do we use for precedent? 
FELDMAN: No fucking idea. 
SCALIA: Why are you talking about the right to self-defense? That’s not in the Constitution. 
FELDMAN: See above. Besides, nobody would really restrict the right to keep and bear arms so that it affected self-defense. 
SCALIA: Have you even read Heller? 
FELDMAN: I don’t think so. 
KENNEDY: Gura, let’s use your last three minutes to talk about everything but the 2A.
ROBERTS: I’m going to give you the chance to take back that privileges and immunities thing. 
GURA: No, we think it’s a good idea!
ROBERTS: *sigh*

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P.S. I want to give a shout-out to Gura, who I didn’t really give proper credit in the summary. I do think he did a good job, I just think he was a little taken aback by Scalia coming out swinging on privileges/immunities – as was I.

To be perfectly honest, I lost a little bit of Scalia love today. I can’t get behind the idea that, if something’s bad, just because it’s been bad for 140 years we should perpetuate it.

EDIT: Um, er, yeah… one of the hits I got on this is from a forum poster who apparently knows Justice Scalia and promised to forward it. 0_0 The good news is they think he’ll get a kick out of it. I feel obligated to point out, just in case, that I’m married to a 1L who happens to be a HUGE Scalia fan and would gladly take a shoe-shining or trash-emptying internship.

Just in case.

EDIT: mcouey over on Arfcom took this and ran with it… Here’s the result, which had me rolling:

I was just reading a CNN biography of Neda Agha-Soltan, and thought this passage was worth noting:

A friend of hers interprets the fact that her body was released so quickly as a tacit acknowledgment by the government that the killing was carried out by government forces. That theory is supported by the fact that Iran’s strict gun-control laws mean private citizens cannot carry firearms, the friend said.

Governments do not fear disarmed people.

It seems to me like your doublespeak on gun rights means one of three things:

1. You’re stupid.
2. You think I’m stupid.
3. You’re a liar.

I’m inclined to believe it’s a combination of the last two. See, here’s your agenda (the good one with the “battlefield” language, just for old times’ sake):

Address Gun Violence in Cities: As president, Barack Obama would repeal the Tiahrt Amendment, which restricts the ability of local law enforcement to access important gun trace information, and give police officers across the nation the tools they need to solve gun crimes and fight the illegal arms trade. Obama and Biden also favor commonsense measures that respect the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from children and from criminals who shouldn’t have them. They support closing the gun show loophole and making guns in this country childproof. They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets.

And here’s what you’re telling America via the press (story via Uncle):

“I believe in common sense gun safety law, and I believe in the second amendment,” Obama said at a press conference Sunday.

“And so, lawful gun owners have nothing to fear.

“I’ve said that throughout the campaign. I haven’t indicated anything different during the transition, and I think that people can take me at my word.”

Which words, Obama? The ones where you say you want to take away the manner in which I buy many of my guns (private sale, aka ‘the gun show loophole’), restrict the usability of those guns in my home (making them ‘childproof’), and flat-out ban guns I own (that part is a no-brainer)? Or the ones where you say that, as a lawful gun owner, I have “nothing to fear?”

Your words don’t mesh, in my world. It’s really a very simple concept. I own the guns you want to ban. I’m pretty confident you know that. Which, again, says to me: You think I’m stupid, and you’re a liar.

Keep talking, though – I’m sure Midway and Ammunition to Go and Stag really appreciate the business in the holiday season. Every time you open your fool mouth you just remind us how great of a stocking stuffer another lower receiver or 500 rounds of 5.56 can be!

Daniel Pouzzner, editor of the Architecture of Modern Political Power, has reassembled Obama’s Change.gov Agenda (in its entirety) from the Google page cache. 

You can view an identical mirror of the agenda as it was posted on November 7th at Mega.nu. 

Post, re-post, and post it again, friends! (I think if you link directly to http://www.mega.nu/ampp/obama_agenda/agenda.html it will help get it into the Google index faster.) 

To allow the Obama camp to pretend their words never existed is unacceptable.

I just got a notice from new_iconoclast on LJ that the page detailing Obama’s gun control agenda (as well as all his other policy plans) has been scrubbed. He said:

As of 1930 CST on Sat 08 Nov 08, that page is “not available right now” on change.gov. Thanks for the quote.

Sure enough, I headed back to change.gov, and the new agenda page reads – in full:

The Agenda

President-Elect Obama and Vice President-Elect Biden have developed innovative approaches to challenge the status quo in Washington and to bring about the kind of change America needs.

The Obama Administration has a comprehensive and detailed agenda to carry out its policies. The principal priorities of the Obama Administration include: a plan to revive the economy, to fix our health care, education, and social security systems, to define a clear path to energy independence, to end the war in Iraq responsibly and finish our mission in Afghanistan, and to work with our allies to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, among many other domestic and foreign policy objectives.

Too late, Barry. We already know.

Comrades,

In case this wasn’t already obvious (i.e. you were living under a rock): PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA IS A BIG GODDAMN PROBLEM.

From change.gov, which outlines Obama’s transition plans (hat tip to Uncle):

Address Gun Violence in Cities: As president, Barack Obama would repeal the Tiahrt Amendment, which restricts the ability of local law enforcement to access important gun trace information, and give police officers across the nation the tools they need to solve gun crimes and fight the illegal arms trade. Obama and Biden also favor commonsense measures that respect the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from children and from criminals who shouldn’t have them. They support closing the gun show loophole and making guns in this country childproof. They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets.

You know, I don’t think everyone who voted for Obama wants this stuff. I mean hell – I know a guy who voted for Obama because he thinks Barry Jesus is the solution to our economic woes, and he went and bought himself a complete Stag today because he realizes he’s about to lose the ability to. (Don’t worry, I already told him he’s seven different kinds of stupid.) But, point being: I don’t think these people understand that yes, they honest-to-Pete just voluntarily voted to trade our liberties for WARM FUZZY HOPE.

Hey, at least you really can’t accuse me of unfoundedly predicting impending doom at this point, considering the arrogant bastard is openly flaunting his intention to wage war on my rights.

Fine. If Obama wants to see our rifles on a battlefield, we’ll give him a battlefield. Μολὼν λαβέ.

*waits for the Brownshirts Black-Baggers Truth Squads to come haul her away*

Remember when I posted this entry the other day?

I wound up doing a little digging into Australian firearms laws. I found the Sporting Shooters Association of Australia and learned that, while Aussies by no means have a legally-recognized right to keep and bear arms, gun ownership is possible. It looks like the “application” process is about as fun as trying to get a gun permit in D.C. if your name is Dick Heller, but… it’s possible.

So, I sent a message to the woman who had posted about being unable to own guns in Australia. Her original post seemed receptive to firearms – after all, she’d said she couldn’t have them, not that she wouldn’t. I offered a link to the SSAA and told her that, while I’m American and not well versed in what the legal process there is, I’d be happy to share general firearms knowledge or answer any questions I can.

I didn’t hear anything back for a week.

This morning, I logged into my email and saw a reply from her. It read, in part:

My response is very delayed but I just wanted to say thankyou so much for sending me that link.. so it turns out we can legally own a firearm. We’ve always been told that it’s not legal unless you require a firearm for work (but I now suspect that they do this to keep firearms in the hands of few).

I will probably have a few questions to ask in the coming weeks once we get the application form all sorted out… so thankyou for the offer because I will be taking you up on it!

Consider my day made.

I was just checking out a forum that is populated primarily by crunchy parents, mostly women. Depending on which sub-forum you’re in, they range from raving Obama liberals to preparedness homesteaders. Anyway, I was perusing the financial forum (which seems to lean toward the conservative prepared types), and came across a thread about buying gold. The author was asking whether it’s better to save money by buying in 1-ounce increments, or spend extra to get 1/10 ounce coins that would be more spendable in times of need.

Someone replied:

“In an economic depression, you are better off having goods to trade (food, clothing, gas/oil, etc), and weapons to protect your cache of goods. If people are starving, it won’t matter how much gold you have on hand – people can’t eat gold.”

Then the original author replied, and here’s part of what she said:

“thanks for the heads-up guys!! good point about stockpiling other goods! we’re not allowed to bear arms in australia… “

As the title says: Count your blessings… and keep your powder dry.

Speaking of incorporation:

CHICAGO – Pro-gun groups filed a federal lawsuit Thursday challenging a long-standing Chicago handgun ban only hours after the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to strike down a similar ban in the District of Columbia. – LINK

Oooooh Maaayor Daaaaley… YOUR TURN! Kisses!