I hope you all got a chance to go out shooting in celebration of 233 years of American asskickery and fine marksmanship. Incidentally, it’s also the first anniversary of the day I was asked (and agreed) to become Mrs. Inconvenience. :)

Our day thus far involved the Palouse Sons of Liberty and Tannerite. It’s about to involve steak and beer.

A good day, friends. Pictures and video to come!

Soooo I logged in over at theknot.com to start playing with seating arrangements, and it kindly reminded me that my wedding is in 19 days.

Thus, added to the list of “Things That Make Me Hyperventilate” - a sub-20-day wedding countdown.

My friend George pretty much ruined the wedding gifting for everyone else, so feel free to throw things in his general direction.

I knew his gift was going to be pretty kickass, because he said a) it sums up our relationship, b) it meant he would be eating mac and cheese for a while and c) it wouldn’t last very long. I figured it had to be some high-quality ale, or maybe high-quality ammo… But no.

Better.

Mike and I came home yesterday to find a box on our doorstep. “What’s that?” Mike wondered. Then I noticed how it was addressed:

“OH! It’s our wedding present from George!” …which caused Mike to make this face: o_0

It’s about this time that Mike notices a sticker on top, which says: ORM-D. “Uhhh, I think that’s like, explosives or something,” he points out. I snatch it up only to find it to be quite light - maybe it’s a small quantity of really kickass ammo? Then I hear something inside, shifting… It sounds like sand. WTF? Did he send us reloading stuff or something?

In to the kitchen it goes, and out comes a knife to slice it open. I’m going to recreate this now, so you can all share in my schoolgirl-like joy.

First, I see a bunch of newspaper. Not so exciting:

Then, this:

I start OMG-ing, Mike is looking confused, and I exclaim…

TANNERITE! IT’S EFFING TANNERITE!

How many wedding presents come with a chemical catalyst? At this point I was on the verge of joyous tears.

Thank you, George, from the bottom of our explosive-lovin’ hearts. We love it, and I can’t wait to destroy various stuffed animals, fruits and vegetables, and probably some zombies.

P.S. For those of you tragically unacquainted with Tannerite, watch and learn… And yes, this was left sitting, unsigned for, unattended, on our doorstep. And it’s legal in all 50 states. God bless America!

Yep. The Po showed up a little while ago…

Mistaken identity, though. No fun! Turns out the officer (single responder) was looking for the other half of the duplex (wow… thank God I’m not Cory Maye) for some family drama relating to one of the visiting teenagers over there. Booooring.

The lulz came just now, when Mike and I were sitting on the couch, and I said, “That cop seemed like a pretty nice guy,” and Mike replied… “Yep. I bet he’s a perfectly nice guy. Probably donates to charity and helps out with the Boy Scouts and a bunch of other stuff that I would totally agree with. Hell - I’d probably buy him a beer! But when the order comes to go out and violate the Constitution, he’ll probably get right on it, and then I’ll have to kick his ass.”

Okay… maybe you had to be here.

On an unrelated note, we’re watching the PBS documentary PBS wouldn’t air.

“Muslims Against Jihad”. A Denmark Muslim was on a little while ago, talking about how his parents were insisting he honor-kill his sister for wanting to marry a non-Muslim or something equally ridiculous. Doubleyou-tee-eff. Really.

Summer Blockbuster Roundup

We saw Live Free or Die Hard the other day. Lots of ’splodey things, lots of Bruce Willis (swoon) and lots of Mac-nerd. I was pleased. Definitely worth the matinee price and 99% sure it’s worth the evening showings. Pretty much pure fun.

Now… as for Transformers: THAT MOVIE KICKED ALL THE ASS. I wasn’t a Transformers watcher as a kid, though Mike was. I expected lots of cheesy, unnecessary humor (a la the Spiderman trilogy, which I didn’t like), mediocre special effects, and an overall “kiddie flick” feel.

WRONG!

It was unusually pro-American (compared to other current movies), completely chock-full of some of the best special effects I’ve ever seen, and not cheesy. Period. There were a couple very brief moments of campy dialogue, but it was so overshadowed by the overall movie that it didn’t bother me at all. The likeable characters, were, the bad guys were, quite so, and… Yes. Very yes. Go see it, and see it again. It was great.

Wedding Countdown

This time, four weeks from now, I will be about an eight-hour veteran of the whole Mrs. thing. I can think of worse things to be. :)

Feedback request: any ceremony suggestions? Readings, write our own vows or not, etc? It’s all 100% up to us, since we have a friend doing the ceremony… I’m thinking perhaps a passage from Gates of Fire and something from letters between John and Abigail Adams. Maybe a Bible verse or two, too, though I don’t want to do anything too stereotypical. I’m a smidge infatuated with Proverbs 31:10-31, though, so maybe I’ll work that in.

PFT

I’m working up to PT with Mike (more on exactly why, coming soon…) but have a long ways to go. Still, I got 46 crunches in two minutes (yes, sucky, but considering the fact I haven’t done any crunches in… months - not too bad for Day No. 1) and am up to a 20 second flexed-arm hang. My upper body strength has been historically poor, but I’m making quick progress with the flexed-arm hang, so I’m pretty happy with that. I have not yet attempted a run. That is going to suck.

I’m getting married in 28 days.

Four weeks from tomorrow.

::freaks out::

I will be carefully avoiding this movie, this song, and anything referencing the phrase “cold feet,” until well after the ceremony.

Actually, a Google search on said phrase brought up the following:

What should be a time of bliss can also feel like a time of loss, and that’s healthy. Only by grieving the end of single life can you fully embrace your new married life. “It’s a long slow trudge through some pretty dark places,” Moir-Smith says. Not everyone gets cold feet, but an identity shift will happen. If you don’t allow it to happen before the wedding, it will catch up with you later.

Elsewhere it mentioned that one of the main speakers in the article, a therapist, knew her cold feet didn’t have anything to do with the guy… it was all internal. So true. I was driving home the other day and had a random thought: I’m entering the last month of my life where I exist as a financially independent individual. Now, don’t get me wrong - there are a helluva lot of benefits about combining our assets, and we’ve talked a lot about finances, debt, etc. and how we want to handle it all. I think it will work out well. But I still had a minor freak-out about the fact that I’m never going to be just me ever again.

I had another wedding dream Thursday night. It was raining again, like last time - I think I need to look up the symbolism of rain in dreams. (Of course I woke up with Alanis Morisette stuck in my head - “It’s like raaaaaaaaain… on your wed-ding daaaay…”) And yet again, everything was happening at the last minute. We didn’t even get to the venue until like two hours before the wedding. I hadn’t done any of the photography. I hadn’t even gotten my dress cleaned or steamed - and I didn’t know where it was. I hadn’t changed, or done my hair, or make-up. I hadn’t even picked the actual ceremony area at the venue! But the funny thing was… I was pretty nonchalant about it all. I was freaking out on the inside, but shrugging it all off on the outside. I kept saying “It’ll work out… I’m not stressing… Not a big deal… I don’t care” and things of that nature. So at least dream-me is committed to not being a bridezilla.

Sheesh… I totally forgot about another dream I had a few nights ago, until just now - in that one, Mike’s tux didn’t fit. Next time can I at least get some freakin’ zombies or something? COME ON!

Okay, I’m going to sleep now… I haven’t been able to sleep, and I think I’m finally tired enough.

Okay, I didn’t want to be all “Buy us presents, hurrr!” but since ParatrooperJJ asked…

Yes, we are registered for the wedding, at Bed, Bath and Beyond, Target and TheThingsIWant.com. (Hot links should take you directly to each list - otherwise, you can search by my name.)

We would also happily accept a Barrett Model 82A1/M107 or a $3.9 million dollar ranch in Wyoming. Just sayin’. *wink*

I kid, I kid. I am not going to keep apologizing for being a sucktastic blogger, but… I’m a sucktastic blogger. I miss writing, though, so hopefully I’ll kick it back into high gear.

::does the I-get-a-five-day-weekend dance:: …Oh yes, my boss called work yesterday and asked if I thought we ought to just close the store on Thursday and Friday, so we’d have Wednesday - Sunday off. Um, yes and very yes? I want to go somewhere and do something, but I haven’t a clue what I mean by that. Mike doesn’t want to go anywhere until after he sees fireworks on the 4th, so that means we either have to go somewhere where he can make that happen, or wait. But I don’t wanna! Maybe we’ll go to… Montana. Or something. Who knows.

Did I mention I decided not to take the second session of summer classes? See, this is the problem with lazy blogging… I forget what I write about. (And I’m too lazy to go check. Ah… catch-22!) I’m still trying to figure out if I want to take 18-credit semesters next year, plus either a summer class or internship next summer, and be done, or take it a little easier and graduate in the fall. I’m leaning heavily toward the first, but I still have to jump a couple waitlist hurdles to make that happen.

The wedding is in one month and one day… Wow. We found an officiant - my friend John is going to do the ceremony. (As an aside, proof teh intarwebs are awesome: John calls the other day and says, “Hey… I’m ordained! It took like, two minutes.”) I know I outlined my reasons for feeling hinky about the random phonebook pastor idea, so I’m absolutely thrilled John is going to do it, especially since we share similar religious beliefs, so I feel like the whole blessing aspect is actually there.

I’m trying to sell my 4Runner, so if you’re looking for a new car… *cough*

Oh! I went and bugged the UltiMAK folks yesterday. Their warehouse is right next to my mechanic’s shop, so I popped in and introduced myself. I mentioned I ran into Oleg Volk on the internet a while ago (he does their advertisements), and they in turn said he’d mentioned something about encountering a gun-friendly Moscow denizen. Not that we’re that few and far between, but still… Anyway, I may have to stick my head in there from time to time, especially since they let me check out some of their toys. :)

Well kids… I’m off to do a bit of work - in case I don’t check in tomorrow, have a safe and fun holiday, and happy 231st birthday to America. :)

Anybody out there?

I’m trying to type with acrylic nails on one hand and natural nails with almost no length on the other… It feels odd. This isn’t standard behavior, by the way - I was inspired to take my yearly run at the guitar (this will last approximately three days) so it was off the left-hand nails.

On the subject of music: while I doubt I’ll ever reach Jemi Hendrix levels on the guitar, I really do want to learn to play the fiddle/violin. I discovered Miri Ben-Ari today, and while I’m normally not a hip-hop fan, I find the hip-hop violin to be awesome.

Anyhoo, I’m attempting to FreeCycle-acquire a violin, and if that fails, I’ll probably get the family violin from down in CA and have it re-strung and whatnot. My current plan is to teach myself (yay, teh intarwebs!) like I have every other time I’ve learned an instrument… but if I really take to this one, who knows - I may actually pursue instruction.

Wedding planning is plodding along. I’ll be headed up to the wedding location next weekend to scope out the florist, tux rentals, actual ceremony location, etc. Still need to work out the officiant… I am seriously considering asking a friend to get ordained and do it. (Yay, teh intarwebs yet again!) I just have a major hang-up against asking an actual religious officiant to do it, when I’m not intimately familiar with that individual’s theology. I would certainly hate to pick a name out of the phone book and unknowingly choose a Doug Wilson or worse. You’d be surprised what kind of folks call themselves Christians… especially in northern Idaho. Frankly, I think a beloved friend asking for God’s blessing on our union is going to garner more favor upstairs than inadvertently having someone waving the banner of Christianity - but preaching all the wrong things - having any part of my wedding. We’ll see how it goes.

I can’t recall if I covered this or not… but I’m 99.9% sure I’ve found the major I’ll be graduating with: journalism. I’ll also have a minor in history. The good news is… I have a major! The bad news is I’m not sure if I will be able to graduate spring ‘08 as scheduled… I think I will have to at LEAST get some credits summer ‘08 (either via class or an internship) and I may just have to graduate fall ‘08. My problem at this point is I’m taking the reporting pre-requisite this fall, and I’m also waitlisted on two of the advance classes I need. I think my media writing instructor will vouch for me and help me get into them, but that’s not a guarantee, and even if I do I will be pushing the envelope with like 18 credits per semester.

Oh yeah - those nine summer credits I was taking simultaneously? A’s in all of them. That’s the first 4.0 I’ve pulled in college. :) I really kicked ass in my media writing class (with the aforementioned supportive instructor), and that’s what led me to believe I’ve found my calling in journalism. Of course, lots of y’all who have known me for any length of time called that one long ago, but… what can I say? I’m stubborn.

Speaking of stubborn, I’ve finally decided to get off my lazy ass, eat right, and work out. (Warning: I’m about to defy every law of being female.) Exactly one week ago, I weighed 141.2 lbs. That’s not like, “Zomg lardass!” or anything, but I’m 5′6″ and it was approaching pretty not-hot proportions. So I cut the soda. And potato chips. And the everything-I-see-after-8-p.m.-I-must-eat. All the experts say you shouldn’t lose more than 2 lbs. per week, but uh… sorry guys. I just stopped eating crap and promptly dropped like… 10. Well, between 10 and 15. I’m kind of bouncing between 126.4 and 128.6 right now; at this very moment I’m on the high end thanks to kind of going off the wagon for the weekend. Thing is, I feel gross when I eat bad food now. I don’t really want to, I just need to find more healthy options because I get bored fast.

Mike and I also took up tennis, I’m doing some cardio at the gym, and he’s supposed to start instructing me on proper Olympic lifting techniques. (*Cough, cough* - that’s your cue, honey!) I’m finally convinced that I can lift heavy and not look like a female bodybuilder unless I try… I’m learning more about cutting and bulking and competition prep, and I understand now that looking like what women are always afraid of looking like (i.e. men) requires an actual intention to look that way. And like, 4% body fat. And usually some pretty intense dehydration. Eww.

Anyway, Jelena Abbou is my new role model. She’s my height, which makes me think hey - I can look like that if I want to actually try! I’ve seen some competition pics of her that are of the “Oh… no. No, not good.” variety, but when she’s in the off-season and actually has a healthy level of body fat… well:

Anybody gonna complain if my next round of gun pics involves a stomach like that? Anybody? No? Didn’t think so.

It’s apparently time to hit the hay… Work tomorrow, le sigh. I look forward to becoming independently wealthy. Now I just have to figure out how to go about that…

I’m getting married two months from today.

Weird.

I guess this means I have to actually buckle down and find things like an officiant, and flowers… I’m still lobbying for an internet-ordained Sgt. V doing it, but Mike thought that was weird. Sgt. V would probably find it pretty strange too.

My dress showed up, and I managed to try it on with only a bit of help - it’s gorgeous and poofy and hot. Like, pouring-sweat kind of hot. I really hope it’s not five billion degrees on the 4th. The only real downside to the dress is the fact it fits me really, really well right now, which does not bode well for any in-shape-getting or weight-lossing I was planning in the next two months. I think I will be okay since it is primarily held up by being very tight in the ribs/torso, and there isn’t a whole lot to lose there, but I was hoping it would be a wee bit small so I’d have more motivation. I actually look great in it as=is - it’s how I look not in it that makes me raise the ol’ eyebrows.

My dear friend Morgan helped me put together our invitations on Saturday, so those are at least ready to go out - well, I have to spend an arm and a leg on stamps first, and then address them, and then send them… but they’re assembled. It’s a start.

Anyway, I best be off to my next class, and I think my Mission of the Day after that will be to make an honest-to-goodness to-do list for the rest of my wedding stuff… and start checking some shizzle off.

And of course, they’re not about some flawless event with clouds and angels and harps and kittens. Oh no.

Last night’s began with me sleeping in until 4:00 pm on the big day, which happened to be the time the wedding was supposed to start. I of course awoke in a panic, and told everyone to tell the guests it would have to start at 5:00. I threw on my dress, which I somehow had not tried on before that very moment, and it was not at all what I wanted. In addition to being quite plain and… un-poofy, it had long sleeves. I thought “oh well” and went on to attempt to pull things together. At some point in here, I realized we had completely forgotten to arrange tuxedos for the groomsmen, so they were going to have to wear whatever they had on that day. For Daniel, this happened to be a Christmas sweater. John was decked out in some sort of nice striped button-up shirt but extremely metrosexual jeans… probably his glitter jeans. Brian at least had his USMC blues, but of course none of them matched. I don’t even know where Mike was.

About this time, it starts pouring down rain (outdoor wedding, mind you) and we get a call that the musical talent has gotten stuck/lost along the way and is sending us a distress signal via morse code.

I then meet the officiant - who has appeared out of nowhere, and been arranged for by somebody other than myself - and he’s like the lone island of calm in this whole mess. I realize I don’t have a veil, and he tells me not to worry, he has one I can use and he’ll drive all the way home to get it. I told him he didn’t have to do that, but he was very kind and insisted. He was wearing some kind of a priest’s collar (you know, with the white in the middle?) but I asked my dad and somebody else if he was Catholic, and he wasn’t. I then thought he was Lutheran, but somebody else said maybe Episcopalian… Keep in mind that I belong to none of these churches. The closest I come is Lutheran.

Anyway, about this time I set off to rescue the singer, who is still sending us distress signals from somewhere down a hill. I arrive at the source of the signal, and he’s set up some sort of elaborate comm system with wires from his music equipment, and it’s in a tree. There are wires radiating out from the tree in six different directions, and for some reason I know that one of them points to his direction, but I have no idea which one it is.

I think this is about the time I woke up. I’d woken up once before and was awake for a few minutes, but lapsed directly back into the dream when I went back to sleep. Needless to say, this was one of those mornings where I woke up feeling like I just got my ass kicked.

See why we’re getting married this summer? I can handle this for four months… A year and four months, not so much.