I wound up with some malicious script on my blog. I tried reading a few posts explaining how to fix it, but they were all tl;dr and my eyes kept skipping to the “delete everything and start over” part.
Speaking of starting over… I suppose now is as good a time as any to announce: I’m goin’ through the big D, and don’t mean Dallas!
Yep. Shit happens. I’m not gonna get into all the reasons why; we’re both at fault, though I was the one to pull the plug. We’re both very stubborn, though I think he’s slightly more so. Thus, I’m pretty sure he would have one-more-chanced it until one of us died of old age.
I guess there’s something to that, but I think we both deserve to live happy, peaceful, loving lives in the meantime. We weren’t very good to each other. Okay, to be honest? We were total assholes to each other. Everyone knew it. I don’t think we ever learned how to communicate with each other with respect, and we, for whatever reason, couldn’t acknowledge it well enough to fix it. Nasty cycles.
The good times were great. The bad times… became too bad, I guess is all there is to it. I spent a long time trying to convince myself life’s just like that, and any relationship is going to be like that, and so on… Turns out life doesn’t have to be like that, and neither do relationships. Huh. Who knew?
The Girl Child seems to be taking it all in stride. She’s a remarkably well-adjusted child. She was old enough to begin to notice and be affected by the conflict (one of my reasons for calling it quits) but, thus far, has been very flexible and easily-adjusted to the new living arrangements.
I can go back to my journal from 2004/2005 and find entries detailing the exact same kind of problems we had in 2011, stuff that I kept thinking would magically change or get better or go away. Looking at that stuff in hindsight was a wake-up call. Funny how clear and obvious a pattern of behavior can become when you’re looking back upon the history of it. We got together young/immature, and a lot of the things people say about young relationships are true. We both also thought the rules of the universe did not apply to us, and–surprise!–turns out they do.
I guess I’ve officially hit the age where all I know is I don’t know jack shit.
In positive news, 2012 will be hard-pressed to suck as bad as 2011. I have great things going on. I started working full-time in January for a company that does DNA sequencing. I absolutely love my job. I work with an awesome, fun bunch of people and get to be part of exciting things. The pay is good, the benefits are great, and… Yeah. I’ll have to tell the story of how I got the job, sometime. It was fortuitous, to say the least.
The Girl Child started preschool when I started working, and she’s doing really well. I’m very, very happy with her school, and it’s been good for her to spend more time around… Humans Other Than Mom.
And since I’m sure one of y’all smartasses is gonna ask: Yes, I am dating someone. And he’s friggin’ awesome. We’ve been friends for some time. Turns out people can be nice to each other in a relationship. And they can communicate about things.
I’m happier and more relaxed now, too. I’m not just saying that… Everyone has noticed. People who used to affectionately refer to me as “the bitchy sister” now say things like “You’re all… nice… and shit… it’s so weird…”
So! Go me.