EDIT: This is not where I originally got the excerpt of the transcript below, but it’s actually a more complete copy. Thanks for catching my lack of a citation, Phil!

Am I the only one who reads this transcript of the officer interrogating Craig, and thinks… “That cop is completely out of control, and I don’t believe a damn thing he’s saying?” If I was Craig, I would have shut up and lawyered the hell up. There’s no way this would have stuck. This reeks of bullying and entrapment.

Larry Craig: What about my hand?
Sgt. Dave Karsnia: Well, you’re not being truthful with me, I’m kinda disappointed in you Senator. I’m real disappointed in you right now. Okay. I’m not, just so you know, just like everybody, 1,1,1, treat with dignity, I try to pull them away from the situation
Sgt. Karsina: Okay. Was your was your palm down or up when you were doing that?
Mr. Craig: I don’t recall.
Sgt. Karsina: Okay. I recall your palm being up. Okay.
Mr. Craig: All right.
Sgt. Karsina: When you pick up a piece of paper off the ground, your palm would be down, when you pick something up.
Mr. Craig: Yeah, probably would be. I recall picking the paper up.
Sgt. Karsina: And I know it’s hard to describe here on tape but actually what I saw was your fingers come underneath the stalls, you’re actually ta touching the bottom of the stall divider.
Mr. Craig: I don’t recall that.
Sgt. Karsina: You don’t recall
Mr. Craig: I don’t believe I did that. I don’t.
Sgt. Karsina: I saw, I saw
Mr. Craig: I don’t do those things.
Sgt. Karsina: I saw your left hand and I could see the gold wedding ring when it when it went across. I could see that. On your left hand, I could see that. LC: Wait a moment, my left hand was over here.
Sgt. Karsina: I saw there’s a…
Mr. Craig: My right hand was next to you.
Sgt. Karsina: I could tell it with my ah, I could tell it was your left hand because your thumb was positioned in a faceward motion. Your thumb was on this side, not on this side.
Mr. Craig: Well, we can dispute that. I’m not going to fight you in court and I, I reached down with my right hand to pick up the paper.
Sgt. Karsina: But I’m telling you that I could see that so I know that’s your left hand. Also I could see a gold ring on this finger, so that’s obvious it was the left hand.
Mr. Craig: Yeah, okay. My left hand was in the direct opposite of the stall from you.
Sgt. Karsina: Okay. You, you travel through here frequently correct?
Mr. Craig: I do.
Sgt. Karsina: Um.
Mr. Craig: Almost weekly.
Sgt. Karsina: Have you been successful in these bathrooms here before?
Sgt. Karsina: I am trained in this and I know what I am doing. And I say you put your hand under there and you’re going to sit there and…
Mr. Craig: I admit I put my hand down.
Sgt. Karsina: You put your hand and rubbed it on the bottom of the stall with your left hand.
Mr. Craig: No. Wait a moment.
Sgt. Karsina: And I, I’m not dumb, you can say I don’t recall…
Mr. Craig: If I had turned sideways, that was the only way I could get my left hand over there.
Sgt. Karsina: it’s not that hard for me to reach. (inaudible) it’s not that hard. I see it happen everyday out here now.
Mr. Craig: (inaudible) you do. All right.
Sgt. Karsina: I just, I just, I guess, I guess I’m gonna say I’m just disappointed in you sir. I’m just really am. I expect this from the guy that we get out of the hood. I mean, people vote for you.
Mr. Craig: I’m a respectable person and I don’t do these kinds of…
Sgt. Karsina: And (inaudible) respect right now though
Mr. Craig: But I didn’t use my left hand.
Sgt. Karsina: I thought that you…
Mr. Craig: I reached down with my right hand like this to pick up a piece of paper.
Sgt. Karsina: Was your gold ring on your right hand at anytime today.
Mr. Craig: Of course not, try to get it off, look at it.
Sgt. Karsina: Okay. Then it was your left hand, I saw it with my own eyes.
Mr. Craig: All right, you saw something that didn’t happen.

Of course, I’ve thought something was fishy since this:

At about 1219, I held my Police Identification in my right hand down by the color so that Craig could see it. With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, “No!” I again pointed toward the exit.

I just imagine the cop thinking “Gotcha now, SUCKER!” and doing that, all giddy and grinning like a schoolgirl. Why not exit the stall and wait for Otter outside? Maybe he didn’t want to make a scene… But hey, know what that says to me? That says the cops aren’t concerned with getting sex acts out of the public area, they’re concerned with harassing those who commit the sex acts. If you don’t want people getting it on in the bathroom, make it very clear there are sting operations and major crack-downs going on. That will get the sex acts out of public areas and into private domain. Keep the crackdowns a secret, and you’re just looking for a way for a vice cop to get his jollies by being such a super sleuth and catching “perverts.”

No, I don’t like cops - why do you ask?

The real estate agent (from Team Idaho Real Estate - let’s go ahead and get their standard procedure out there on teh intarnets, shall we?) is out shoving a “For Sale” sign into my lawn. I like how they take the time to come to the door and knock and say, “Hi, just wanted to let you know we’re going to take pictures of your house, so you’re not creeped out” or “Hey, we have a sign to put up, since you are responsible for mowing the lawn, is this an okay place?” I guess I’m undeserving of even the slightest courtesies, as I’m just a lowly renter. Not like I pay to live here or anything. …/sarcasm

This all makes me reeeeeeeeeally want to cooperate with these people. Oh yes.

They want to come show the house again tomorrow between 1:30 and 2:30 (that makes time #2 this week) - oh, and they were supposed to come take pictures inside last night but canceled the appointment. I asked if they would like to reschedule and she said, “Oh, we’ll just call if we need to.” Hey - I’m here for their convenience, so GREAT!

Man oh man. Nothing like a “For Sale” sign on your lawn to say “home sweet home!”

Mrs. Tennessee America Bitten by Rattlesnake, Saved by Mrs. Idaho

Wow, thanks, Fox News. Turns out it was Mrs. Iowa. They don’t make mention of the correction at the linked article, but the headline I had was copy and pasted from their original report. Thanks for the heads-up, Becky!

Forget all those quotes about small minds, digging two graves, etc. I’m in a “dish best served cold” frame of mind.

See… the more I think about the little stunt my dear, sweet, unassuming husband just pulled, the more I think he perhaps needs to learn a lesson early on in this marital adventure.

Thus, blogizens, your mission:

Devise a plan I can implement to “convince” Mike that certain things are unacceptable, like making your wife think her long-anticipated upper has arrived, when it most definitely has not. Your plan may be evil, cruel, and involve all manner of depravity. It may take any length of time to complete. I’ll censor, twist, and combine ideas as I see fit, so… Suggest away.

Email your suggestions to revenge@laurelzimmer.com. Yes, seriously. I made that.

Muahahaha. Oooooh Mike. You have no idea what a Pandora’s Box you’ve just opened. XOXO!

Profanity alert. Sorry, assorted family members.

MIKE: *smile*
MIKE: somebody got a box
MIKE: i wonder whatever could be inside
MIKE: it looks pretty gee golly big
MIKE: i wonder if i should open laurel zimmer’s box
LAUREL: Hahaha
LAUREL: It must be a wedding present
LAUREL: Go ahead and open it
MIKE: nope
MIKE: not a wedding present
MIKE: hrmmm….where the hell is this rock river??
LAUREL: http://cgi.ebay.com/Michael-vick-CARDS-to-be-CHEWED-or-Pooped-ON-BY-MY-DOG_W0QQitemZ230165469648QQihZ013QQcategoryZ215QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
LAUREL: Hahaha
LAUREL: SHUT THE FUCK UP
LAUREL: IS IT SERIOUSLY HERE
LAUREL: DON’T FUCK WITH ME LIKE THAT
LAUREL: YOU BETTER NOT BE LYING TO ME
MIKE: yeah, i was totally bullshitting you
LAUREL: Are you serious.
MIKE: yeah
LAUREL: I want a divorce.

I’m going to go cry in a corner now. My heart was going tachycardic on me. I was trying to decide if I could safely miss my afternoon classes. Wondering if I needed to get gas before heading to the range. Mentally checklisting - ammo, hearing pro, glasses… Where did I put that sling? DAMMIT.

This sin shall not go unpunished. Just you wait, husband. Just you wait.

I, like many UI students, have had thoroughly bad experiences trying to park on campus at UI. We pay for this place with our tax dollars, then we pay with our tuition and fees, and then we pay yet again for parking passes or meters. I might even get over it if there was enough parking - but oh no, they over-sell the lots by about 50% and thus there’s not even a guaranteed spot for permit-holders.

Basically, it’s crap.

I got a scooter to try to beat the system, because motorcycle/scooter parking is non-permit and usually closer to classes. The very first day I brought my scooter to school, I got a ticket because I didn’t yet have my license plate on it. Thanks, UI! Making the parking lots safe for everybody by enforcing DMV rules, right? *grumbles* I got out of it by going over to the parking office and showing them I just got the scooter and didn’t yet have the license, etc., but still.

Anyway, on my way to class today, I passed a row of cars in the handicapped parking spaces. Each one had a placard hanging from the rear-view mirror, and then a separate UI disability permit on the dashboard. One absolutely made my morning, as across the bottom of the UI permit, the owner had written…

NOW LEAVE ME ALONE NAZI!!!

I wanted to leave my own note of approval, but I would have been late for class.

Okay, I’m a) an Idahoan and b) a blogger, so I’m pretty sure there’s a law somewhere saying I have to weigh in on the developments in this debacle.

Mike and I chatted over lunch today about how Craig was arrested for “lewd conduct” in the first place. I read the police report, and it reeked of entrapment and over-reaching of the “law.” (Not to mention the whole part where the cop showed his ID under the stall divider… Why not exit the stall and wait outside for him? That seems pretty “OOOH GOTCHA NOW SUCKER” on the cop’s part.)

Anyway, I came home and found, fortunately, I’m not the only one making that argument. It won’t do Craig any good, since it’s his reputation that has been drug out back and shot, but it does make me question the propriety of the “enforcement” that got him here in the first place. Consider, if you will (from the linked article):

Had Craig actually exposed his genitalia in a public manner for the purposes of sexual gratification, that would have been a crime. Had he offered to pay for the officer’s sexual services, that would have been a crime. How does foot-tapping and hand-swiping amount to disorderly conduct?

Contrast this to a prostitution bust, for instance. People cannot be convicted or even arrested for signaling prostitutes for sexual services; an explicit offer of sex in exchange for money must take place. Tapping feet, hand signals, and brushing up against the toes of a prostitute on the street aren’t enough to get someone arrested. In sting operations, police have to get that explicit offer before making an arrest.

What Craig did was monumentally stupid and deservedly should shut down his career in the Senate, but all it comprised (in itself) was an offer of consensual sex, and there is nothing inherently illegal in an offer of consensual sex. Anyone signaled in such a manner could just as well tell the signaller to get lost, just as they could in a bar or nightclub. No one was harmed, and no crime was committed, even though many view the behavior as distasteful and out of place. As long as no sexual act takes place in the public area, I’d say no crime takes place. That’s why I think David Vitter should be seen as at least as culpable as Craig, and possibly more so.

Let me make this clear: I would not not vote for Craig because of this incident, unless his wife came out and said he was cheating on her. I consider that to be a character violation worthy of consideration, since if he’ll cheat with regard to his wedding vows, he may very well cheat on his vows to the public. As far as I know, though, he was up-front with her the whole time (if he even did anything, which is still in question in my book) and therefore it’s not my problem. If she wants the public to know otherwise, she needs to say it. (”Stand by your man” with regards to cheating gets you nowhere in my book… Hence a large chunk of my distaste for Hillary Clinton.)

Further, I don’t believe because somebody is bisexual or homosexual that they automatically “owe it” to the homosexual community to vote for gay marriage, etc. There are homosexuals who disagree with that agenda - why, I don’t know, but to each his own. Sexuality should be your business, not a political business.

Bottom line: I appreciate Craig’s efforts to kill renewal of the Assault Weapons Ban, which were successful. I disagree with the way he’s voted sometimes. His personal life has little to no bearing on my opinion of him as a Senator. The GOP is petty and not winning any middle-ground voters here… And I’m pretty embarrassed by the willingness by of so many Idahoans and, for that matter, Americans everywhere to jump on the “crucify him!” bandwagon. Today is a day I’m glad I’m not a Republican - not because of Larry Craig, but because of those who would one day call the man a friend, and the next day feed him to the lions.

Gotta run to a meeting - feel free to weigh in on the Craig thing in the comments.

Hurricane Katrina reminded us all why we need to have a plan for evacuating in the event of a natural disaster - or being able to protect ourselves if we can’t leave. Unfortunately, some agents of the government demonstrated that, in a disaster, the government will not recognize your right to protect yourself. It was an important lesson, one we all need to keep in mind.

Here’s another: have a plan for your pets. You do not want to leave your four-legged family members at the mercy of the same folks who would forcibly disarm you, do you?

The Red Cross has some information here to get you started. Prepping your pets for an emergency or evacuation isn’t all that different than prepping yourself - plan ahead for a supply of food, clean water, and any medications they may need. In addition, you need at the bare minimum some kind of restraints - i.e. leashes or harnesses. You may want muzzles for your dogs, as even the sweetest pup can get snappy under high stress. If you can, have pet carriers available.

Store a copy of your pets’ most recent vaccination records/bills of health along with all of the important papers you’ll grab if you have to bug out. On that note, make sure they are always up-to-date on their vaccinations. You do not want to find yourself turned away from rescue or shelter because you forgot to get Fluffy’s rabies vax updated - nor do you want your pets contracting anything from the myriad other animals they may come in contact with.

Don’t wait until the last minute to get your pets out. Make plans to take them to family, friends, or some sort of trusted kennel far away from the anticipated disaster area. Do this even if you don’t want to evacuate yourself - you do not want to find yourself having to, but by then unable to take your pets along.

I might just start a website called “everywherelikesuchas.com.” That might just be the most brilliant phrase ever uttered in the English language.

I have “Kung Fu Fighting” stuck in my head for no explicable reason.

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIIIIIGHTING! HEEEYAH!